Monday, July 7th, 4:14PM

The bus ride last night was supposed to be three hours, was actually four hours, and felt like an eternity. James was ADD-ed to the max and could not stay still. He and Louie were throwing mad shit out the windows and being typical ugly Americans. We made the mistake of sitting in the back of the bus right next to the shitter. It was like being trapped in a port-a-potty for four hours. Then they played this ridiculously bad movie in Spanish about rollerbladers and Jesus and cranked up the volume just loud enough that we couldn’t sleep. Hell ride, absolute hell ride. We arrived around 9:00 PM.

We hooked up a ride with a sweet taxi driver who dropped us off at a pretty ghetto hotel. The room reeked of paint fumes and we vowed to bail the next day. We took a stroll around the city and found the main strip. Because it was Sunday it was pretty dead, but the street looked like it was pretty happening most of the time. We cruised around looking for a new hotel and some waves but found neither. Morale was low.

This morning we made the 15 minute walk to the beach and were surprised to find Crackers going richter. The peaks were about 8 feet and barreling all the way through from the outside to the inside. The Billabong Odyssey team (Shane Dorian, Mike Parons, Brad Gerlach, and a bunch of other spoiled standups) was on it but they weren’t really catching much. In the distance we could see the Chilean version of Waimea about double overhead and empty. Then out of nowhere we spotted Jorge, our amigo from Town #1, and his lovely chica. Jorge is originally from Town #3 and was in town for a month to surf. We’re amped to know a local with some knowledge of the surrounding area.

We ran back to the hotel, packed up our shit, and took a taxi to our new hotel and then another taxi to Crackers. It was still going off and looked super heavy, plus none of the standups were catching many waves. James paddled out immediately. I was being a big wuss and chose to snap a few photos. James got a few nuggets but seemed frustrated. Eventually he got worked and came in.

People started to bail but the waves were still cranking so finally I said fuggit and paddled out. Just as I paddled out it seemed to drop a foot or two and get even more perfect. Before I knew it I had scored about four insane in-and-outs and the most spastic ARS/roll/spazz eat-it I’ve ever done. The place was firing like a macking day at Base, but over urchin covered rocks. As usual, I injured myself again, this time slicing up my foot pretty badly.

Eventually Nick put down his video camera and paddled out with me. For about an hour and a half it was just Nick and I trading off beastly peaks and trying to bust off the end section without getting killed. Cheese winds eventually developed and we decided to bail. Stoked, exhausted, and with some sick footy, we went back to the hotel and crashed.

Saturday, July 12th, 6:07PM

What the hell is it with rollerblade movies on Chilean buses? This is getting ridiculous! Anyway, I’ve been too busy surfing, filming, watching movies, cruising the coast with Chilenas, drinking 40’s, puking, pooping, and internet surfing to report the last few days. We’re now on a bus back to Town #2 to score a session tomorrow morning before busing back to Town #1 tomorrow afternoon.

We scored heavily in Town #3. Crackers is like a small day at Pipe over a gnarlier reef. Here’s a rundown of the past few days surf:

Tuesday: Fun nuggets, smaller than Monday but still cranking, nobody out.
Wednesday: Smaller still, James and Louie didn’t paddle out, Nick and I switched off water shooting, nobody out.
Thursday: Picked up, overhead, super fun, nobody out.
Friday: The biggest day and heaviest waves of the trip, consistent double overhead sets. Really heavy Pipeline barrels and some death closeouts.
Saturday (Today): Back to about Thursday’s size, super fun but dangerous pits.

The casualties are mounting. My hands and feet are torn to shreds from the urchin-laden reef. Most of my right ass cheek is covered in a giant purple and brown bruise from bouncing off the reef during Thursday’s session. I think I’ve copped the worst of it, but everyone has his share of wounds. Nick has lost 3 fins and I’ve lost one. We’re down to three fins between the two of us; hopefully we can buy some when we get back to Town #2.

Louie has been taking some intense drops on the knee. There’s not really much you can do DK on these waves but speed through the wave and maybe throw a cutty towards the end. Nick and Louie tried to get some ride-behind shots at the mushy point break around the corner from Crackers but didn’t have much luck because of the intense current and bouncy conditions.

The Billabong team was ripping the outer reef on the biggest day. Another huge swell is due Tuesday.

We’ve met some cool people the last few days. One night we were cruising down the main street in Town #3 and these two street comedians started making fun of us. Hundreds of people were laughing at us as these two dudes called us homos. We stood around smiling like idiots and even ended up giving them money. Anyway, as we escaped this humiliation, two girls invited us to go hang out and sample the local greenery. James and Louie gladly accepted and Nick and I went along for the ride. One girl spoke English pretty well and translated for the other more outgoing girl. It ended up being one of the most entertaining nights of the entire trip.

The next day we started walking back to the hotel from Crackers when this girl offered us a ride. She offered to take us out to these insane caves a few miles down the coast. With the four of us jammed in the back of her compact car, we drove along the beautiful barren coastline. The scenery reminded me of Big Sur minus all vegetation. We found this pretty sweet blowhole that launched water and whatever we threw at it 20 feet in the air. We were pounding 40’s the whole time and started getting pretty shlammed. Louie and James were pretty OC throwing huge rocks off cliffs and giggling like 10 year olds. We stopped at a gas station and in a moment of stupidity I slammed back an entire bag of potato chips, a bag of peanuts, and a snickers bar in the span of about 15 minutes. Big mistake. I spent the rest of the night puking and crapping all over the place.

We also cruised up to El Morro, this giant cliff with an insane view of the whole city and the surrounding coastline. We checked out the view, read a bit about the role of El Morro in the War of the Pacific, and threw some boulders off the cliff. Good times.

The same girls tried to talk us into going out last night to a rave, but Louie and James were passed out when they showed up at 11:30 to go out and Nick and I weren’t feeling up to it. Pissed off, they told us "It’s Friday night, what’s your fucking problem??!!" The Chilean midnight-to-6AM party schedule doesn’t mesh very well with our surf-all-morning-drink-all-afternoon routine.